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It broke my heart for seeing the one i loved hurt so much by what i've done before.. 
i'm not trying to defend myself for i am the true defendant.. 
but i just beg for new chance.. 
a chance for creating new story without afraid of being chased by nightmare from the past..

and i knew though i don't deserve that, i still get a new one.. 
and for that i'll try my best and of course i know i won't survive alone, TBH i hate being alone.. 

but with Him, who also let u here with me, i know i'll be able to walk through this storm again.. 
So.. after 'sorry' there'll also 'thank you', after 'goodbye' there'll better 'hello'..

*For those who disappointed by me yet still love and hoping on me.. :')

Daffodil

Terpaksa aku sendiri
Sementara saja kini
Bersabar kan datang hari
Meskipun ku lelah

Aku takut kamu tak mengerti
Caraku sampaikan rasa ini

Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat ungkapkan rasa
Agar kamu kan percaya begitu ku butuh cinta

Kembali lagi terulang
Tergores hatiku ini
Setelah lama menyimpan rasa ini
Terlalu dalam, terlalu dalam

Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat ungkapkan rasa
Agar kamu kan percaya begitu ku butuh cinta
Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat merangkai kata
Agar kamu kan dengarkan bibirku katakan cinta sekarang

Aku takut kamu tak mengerti caraku sampaikan rasa ini
Kamu tak mengerti

Agar kau percaya
Aku butuh cinta
Merangkai kata
Bibirku katakan cinta sekarang

Ku benci sendiri, ku benci sendiri, takut gagal terus begini


At that time when i realized i lose u already.. then i think i've lost everything..
Could this be a "Daffodil" for me..?
When in the inside i just a coward, that afraid of 'love', it's like i'm not worthy for that, the only thing i can offer to others just disappointments.. Everything that i've done or try to be done.. are just annoyance? Just make other feel like piece of sh*t.. I even have no guts to just start a simple 'hello', because i realized that i've lost myself..

yes, i'm somebody else now, who's hiding behind those absurd reasons..

Yes, i'm afraid.. i'm not okay.. yet.. i hate being alone though i say it many times "i better off alone by myself" .. nor i can't tell..

Which one is better? Being alone and not hurting anybody or try to love again with vulnerable heart that could be broken anytime?